About the Askees

Mephishto filters pure hatred from the Stygian depths with gills of unbridled animosity. He'd also taste pretty nasty in patty form.

Project Observer, Don Juan in his own mind.

The hip hop physicist what's got mad bling for the ladies in labcoats.

Host of the Food Network's 'Good Eats' and a regular on "Iron Chef USA".

And in the back of the edge of hearing, These are the words the voice was repeating:

Yaaaaaay!

One of a number of overly-smug forensic techs on the NBC-TV series 'Law & Order.'

Megaman's 'Grandfather' in the "MegaMan Legends" series of games. He makes his living by having his grandchildren search for treasure.

Meep Meep Meeeeeep! Lab assistant at Muppet Labs.

Huge Robotic Suit that combats evil! From the Dark Horse comic and animated series.

Bigmouth the giant from 'The Smurfs.' Not exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer.

Created by Loathe as an alternative to the Bonne family's Servbots, they're all about the robot love. WIIIIIIND ME UP! Appeared in "Tron ni Kobun", by Capcom.

Once a mighty warrior. Now on clearance at Wal-Mart. Likes to devour 'Pre-Consumers'.

We're not sure that a guitar is the most accurate way of piloting a ship, but apparently that's how you do it in the galaxy of Limbo.

Once a mighty warrior. Now on clearance at Wal-Mart.

Tron Bonne's younger brother of indeterminable age. All we know is that he can battle complex robots but can only say 'Babu'. You figure it out.

Mysterious man behind BeakerTron. Is he really the Zero? And, when will he ever finish the code?

The Neurotic one! From the greatest combining-robot series that ran for only a season EVER, 'The Mighty Orbots'.

Yep. They're OUT THERE. Visit www.boasas.com for much hilarity.

3... 2... 1... Thunderbirds are GO!!!

Mephishto's second in command. He proves that you don't need lips to kiss up.

THIS IIIIIIIIS A PICTURE OF A FORKLIFT! OLE!

About peed himself when Skinner buzzed his head with a shot.

Arr! Avast ye! He be lootin' thar airwaves for his booty!

Tokyo-To's leading buyer of hair gel. Also a police officer that has never heard of 'Excessive Force'. Opresses street punks in 'Jet Grind Radio'.

Generalized, localized, idealized, artisticy, authenticcy, unnaturally, geek

Now with mega-emphysema!

He's a what?

Oh no! One of them's got a cold!

Part of the Hateatron Exchange Program.

The world's greatest assassin and foremost authority on why everything Korean is better than everything non-Korean. We have no idea why he is here and we're too scared to ask him to leave.

You want noodle? Chop chop!

Cigarman fights for the American way: death at forty with shriveled lungs.

Old friend of Fei Fong Wong in 'Xenogears', by Squaresoft. Calm, secure, but may have a hidden past. Wait, that describes about 500 video game characters.

Once a mighty warrior. Now on clearance at Wal-Mart.

Great Jaerb, Homeskillet! http://www.homestarrunner.com

He's CRAZY! And he's the REAPER! Now give him some CANDY or his babies will EAT YOU!!!

The Glutton! From the greatest combining-robot series that ran for only a season EVER, 'The Mighty Orbots'.

Arsène Lupin the Third's right hand, he has a very quick draw.

Dante, a rather forthright programmer from Angst Technology.

Enormously successful SuperMini computer, manufactured by Digital Equipment Corporation. Unbelivably, some of these are in their 20's and are still in use.

Boom!

Now with 67% more wackiness!

He ain't too pretty, but he's smart. Actually, he ain't too smart, either. http://www.labgoats.com

Highly evil and impishly cute, she showed up for the Unsuccessful Capcom game, 'Cyberbots'. Also landed a part in the marginally more successful 'Puzzle Fighter'.

This boy is a genius, yet he didn't realize he had gas in one episode. http://bleedman.snafu-comics.com

Mystic Master of the Occult Arts, and All-Around Freaky Guy.

NBC Television announcer. Appeared on Frank Zappa albums, but was best known for his stint on 'The Price is Right'.

She used to live in Lineland up until that whole nonesense when a Square started confusing the king.

Who knew that there were so many narcoleptics who went to college?

We need a drum machine drum machine drum machineeeeeeeee

Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, head scientist at Muppet Labs.

Wacked-out host of a syndicated novelty radio show for some 25 years now.

A man with a goal - to re-animate the corpses of convicts.

Appeared in 'The Braks of Life' episode of 'The Brak Show' on Cartoon Network's 'Adult Swim.'

Smartest Monkey... IN THE WORLD!!! http://www.cigvejy.com

Evil. Mechanical. Egg-Shaped. Eternal nemesis of Sonic the Hedgehog.

A regular on Oprah, he talks about interpersonal relationships. God save us all, he has his own show, too.

From the American to the Digital Frontier! E-WAGONS, HO!!!

Quantum Physicist and Time Traveller.

A spy from Jerksquad!, eternal enemies of Ask Dr. Science.

An eccentric, wheelchair-bound German Scientist.

Mega Man's (not MegaMan's) creator. Looks like Santa!

Nemesis to AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE. Only they don't know it.

Dr. Light's assistant-turned-nemesis. Exploited Mega Man's rules of robotics to live through every single game. Busts phat rhizzymes with Albert E.

That is correct!

She's actual size, but she looks much bigger to me. From the 'Sims' video game.

He wiggled on over from Everyday Stuff! He's a master of disguise! He has cilia!

He's the mascot of the American Chemical Society. And yes, he's downright creepy.

Umm... Frequently Asked Question. Duh.

Smoke you!!!

Carried the One Ring to the Crack of Doom. Would have blown the quest too, if Gollum hadn't bit his finger off and conveniently fell in.

Gamera is really neat, Gamera is full of meat, we all love you Gamera!

He'd love to eat some Smurfs. Too bad he's incompetent.

He's ELECTRIFYING!

Tally ho old chap! Gex is here to remind you of the electromagnetic spectrum!

I've heard this is a preferred sidearm amongst 'Gangsta' types.

Followed the Fellowship of the Ring for thousands of pages and then bit Frodo's finger off for his Preciousssss.

Really charming fellow - just decline any invitations to dinner.

Harold's got MAD calculatin' skillz, yo. http://www.labgoats.com

Two Smurf parts. No neck bolts. Hilarity ensues.

Suffice it to say that He finds your lack of faith disturbing.

Hugh, the ever-absentminded owner of Angst Technology. http://www.inktank.com/AT/

An early appearance of the 'animutation' meme on the web. Give me my sweater back, or I'll play the guitar.

What's cooler than cool, baby? ICE COLD!

The official restaurant and meeting place of ADS! Try the boysenberry syrup - you'll be glad you did.

...or is it Memorex?

Slime Different.

Deadly masters of martial arts, complete with ESD straps and a hidden I.T. sanctum. From Angst Technology. http://www.inktank.com/AT/

If you are wanting to start up an undersea band, why not hire a drum playing shark who sounds a bit like Curly from the Three Stooges?

Obligatory 'Guy with Sword' and 'Boy who Sings Badly and Rides a Goat' Askee. Hung out with the Smurfs on occasion.

Kit, the put-upon office administrator at Angst Technology. http://www.inktank.com/AT/

Stephen King and H.P. Lovecraft combined couldn't make anything this frightening.

He's a rabbit...thing. He's got a Pac-Man hat.

Youngest Kobun. Innocent and adorable. Yeah, right. Likes to sniff for undergarments in 'Tron ni Kobun' but claims he's just jumping on the bed in 'The Misadventures of Tron Bonne'.

41 Servbots total. Gotta catch em' all! They show up in 'Megaman Legends' and 'Tron ni Kobun'.

If it weren't for food, we wouldn't be here. Save marginally on our already high prices with your Kroger Plus Card!

Service Android aboard the Red Dwarf on the BBC Sci-Fi/Comedy series 'Red Dwarf'.

Titration? Cake. Running the Mass Spectrometer? Child's play. Is there any lab task that can confound LAB MAN?

The real brains of Labgoats - too bad no one knows this. http://www.labgoats.com

Stone-faced actor. Consummate bad@$$. Starred in a musical with Clint Eastwood.

Became an orphan after the Bolsheviks staged a revolution

Once a mighty warrior. Now on clearance at Wal-Mart.

Walking computer and literalist of Star Trek: The Next Generation... he'll figure it out eventually.

Brilliant Inventor. Witty Sidekick. Total Babe. You know you liked her better than Marle.

Prone to fits of depression, his constant wasn't widely accepted until his death. And now we can't get rid of it.

Once a mighty warrior. Now on clearance at Wal-Mart.

She hasn't been the same since the breakup.

Brainchild of Jim Henson in 1976. And now the tune's stuck in your head. http://www.poppyfields.net/poppy/mahna.html

Marc, a naive customer service manager from Angst Technology. http://www.inktank.com/AT/

Crono's love interest in Chrono Trigger. A few arrows short of a quiver, if you know what I mean.

Likes to crunch numbers, so to speak.

You eat the blue smurfberry - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You eat the red smurfberry - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.

World's 579th-Greatest Rapper. NERD HO! http://www.frontalot.com

The MCP, or Master Control Program, from TRON.

Once a mighty warrior. Now on clearance at Wal-Mart.

The original blue bomber, from the Capcom platform series.

The star of the Megaman Legends series, MegaMan may actually be a clone of an ancient god. Or a bringer of death. We're not sure.

He's a knockout!

Mind if I run in and out of your nostril? Don't mind if I do!

Russian Space Station.

Tron Bonne, pirate and inventor. Check out "Tron ni Kobun" and the "Megaman Legends" games.

Joe Moogle, himself.

They have evolved beyond morals and manners!

Marvel's own tragic vampire. Keeps (get this) coming back from the grave.

A sweet soul sister who's got a mind for business. A BIG mind for business.

Eternal nemesis of MathMan.

Smarter than your average bearing.

*wheeze wheeze wheeze* Dick Dastardly's canine cohort.

He gets you. He also gets atomic structure.

What's a little Tourette's between friends?

Because everybody's 4-year-old demands it... from the Humongous Entertainment preschooler edutainment series of software.

He's gotta believe. In WHAT, we don't know. D$%# shifting-sand viewpoints!

The younger half of the Killewald Tag Team. Where CaptainSpam's computer science fails, PaSTE's physics prevails.

And now he's looking for a job. Sad.

A baseball player from a Japanese Konami Game. Inexplicably shows up in the US release of Krazy Racers.

Unholy abomination, reanimated from the corpses of convicts; also Ray's dad.

Pete's a man who lives a life of danger. To everyone he meets... eh, forget it.

Coach of the Tennessee Volunteers and all-around back-stabbing jackhole nice guy.

Barbs! They are covered in tiny barbs!

After creating the Powerpuff Girls, he came here to offer his expertise. Exatly WHAT he's an expert in, we don't know.

Incredibly popular DJ of the pirate radio station 'Jet Set Radio.' Encourages the kids of Tokyo-To to vandalize using grafitti.

He was created by Dr. Light before Mega Man, thus the clever name.

Amazing Dumpster Cat!

One - Singular sensation Ev’ry little step he takes One - Thrilling combination Ev’ry move that he makes

One of the color kids from 'Rainbow Brite'.

Former police officer framed for murder who escaped execution due to a faulty electric chair. He may possibly be possessed by Shiva. He is definitely not Korean.

We agreed to help him spread all the secret information he has until the government finds his secret underground bunker. If any government agents are reading this, it's his mom's basement.

Coach responsible for bringing pride back to Kentucky basketball. After an unsuccessful career in the NBA, he returned to the college ranks at UK's arch-rival, Louisville. BOOOOOOOO.

Megaman's 'Spotter' and love interest in 'Megaman Legends'. Often bickers with Tron.

Mega Man's dog. Likes to lick himself.

He just needs some Bondo!

Pint-Sized powerhouse that combats evil! From the Dark Horse comic and animated series.

Father of modern thermodynamics. French. Loves the young ladies.

He just wants a peanut . . . and for you to sign this contract on the bottom of his cage.

Wark? Kweh!!!! Is there a Square RPG where these guys *didn't* show up?

From Star Trek, the original series. Since then, he's spiced it up a bit!

A leading source of legitimate information. Well-respected within the scientific community. *snicker*

Diminuitive Great Dane Puppy.

Died before its time, but he's not bitter.

Half Norse god of mischief. Half misanthropic cretin. The most reclusive admin is also all jerk.

These turtles have got more kinks than an indie record store.

Sheriff of Rock Ridge! He rode a Blazing Saddle, he wore a shining star...

Vincent Price endorsed creating these unholy things from apples, long before many of us were born.

From Rainbow Brite (now that's oldskool.) Glasses AND Purple hair. She's a teenage boy's dream!

From J.R.R. Tolkien's 'The Hobbit'. Ate many Dwarves, and quite a few Humans.

He knew he had a problem when he was holding a ring in each hand, snorting crushed rings off the @$$ of a twelve-year-old boy he called 'Ring.'

The only game console we don't really feel like writing a description for.

Decepticon Information Minister. Quote: 'The Autobots are committing suicide by the masses at the gates!'

Payed a mint to go to space with Cosmonauts.

Stan's looking to sell you a boat!

A former alien raider who switches sides when he realizes other people are also named Ken.

Soft-spoken lab assistant to Dr. Weird.

Coach of the Washington Redskins, who jumped ship after Tennessee beat them in the swamp for the first time in 30 years.

Good times, good times.

He fights the law... and he also fights the crime... but not as much... DANGERESQUE!

Our favorite rapidly growing biennial soil depleting flora.

Tron Bonne's older brother and leader of the Bonne family.

...please stand by

From over the hills and far away, Teletubbies come to turn your toddlers into zombies.

A hormone that makes men feel kind of funny... like when you climb the rope in gym class.

Strong Bad's little buddy. http://www.homestarrunner.com

Even more sinister than Al Capone's vault!

This mess certainly isn't going to clean itself.

Pay no attention...

Four cylinders of 30mpg stationwagon action!

USDA Mascot!

And what are we gonna do unless they are?

Bleeeeech!!! Sadly misunderstood arch-enemies of Kool-Aid Man. Now lobbying for 'alternative' powdered drink companies.

Hup Hup Hup Hup'ing all over Tokyo-To, failing miserably to catch the street punks of 'Jet Grind Radio'.

Good ol' Caffeine. Is there any evil you can't wreak on my fragile mortal body?

University of Kentucky's Men's basketball coach. A thankless job, to be sure.

You put money in one end, and happiness comes out the other. Or maybe a Snickers. Maybe.

They're not evil, they're just construction workers.

The Anti-Petie, as foretold in scripture.

The Anti-Mario, and anti-hero of a number of really good platformers for Nintendo portable consoles.

Not entirely mad, not entirely scientist, but all crackpot inventor. Appears in "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids" and its numerous, highly derivative spin-offs.

Simian with a deep understanding of web development. Don't give him coffee. http://www.inktank.com/AT/

Microscopic, robotic dental hygenist. This is your future, folks.

He nearly became an Emperor. He would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for that pesky kid and his Gunstar.

Tactless and crude to a fault. The ideal art director for Angst Technology, complete with air guitar. http://www.inktank.com/AT/